Found on My Hard Drive

I've got a lot of cruft lying around my hard drive from years past. Things like PDF forms for job applications, or Emmy Awards Party Ballots from 2002. Really, things that no one cares about anymore. I'm in the process of sorting and deleting a lot of it.

Every now and then I find an odd file where I jotted down a quick note to myself. One such file is called "cabdriver.rtf" created Feb 2003 when I was still looking for work in North Carolina. This file contains the following:

The incumbent analyzes and evaluates environmental conditions concerned with vehicular transportation. Manages velocity of vehicle. Evaluates and identifies threatening situations, and then applies risk management techniques to ensure safe travel. Remains calm in life-threatening situations. Innately understands concepts of physics such as friction and inertia and the effects of water in various forms. Responds to and resolves minor system failures. Reports abnormalities of operation or appearance of vehicles. Evaluates and makes decisions independently regarding selection of routes to known or well described destinations.

This is how the US Government would write a job description for "Cab Driver."